Holly Lyon-Hawk
Educator • Ceremonial Care Specialist • Holistic Funeral Director • IISCC
Grief Support
Helping you understand your feelings, process them & find ways to self soothe
Grief can feel scary, we feel ungrounded & unsure of what our lives now mean. During this time it's important to surround yourself with people who will help & support you without judgement; just acceptance and an open heart.
Self care can be the first thing that's gets forgotten about, this is normal. It can be helpful to create a list of
things that you can do that will help you in the first few days, weeks and months - please see below:
"The wound is the place
where the light enters you"
Rumi
Meditation to soothe
Grief and shock can cause our whole system to feel out of balance. Many people find that their nerves can be on edge.
In this meditation I take you on a visual journey to help bring your body to a place of peace.
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You will find most benefit from doing this meditation after a brisk walk (preferably in nature if possible) or bike ride. Why? Because physically working grief out through the body is a powerful way to help shift stress chemicals from your system, follow this by a relaxing meditation and some healthy food and you will be doing the very best for your body to help process the grief you are feeling.
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Try and do this at least twice a week to support yourself as best you can
'I See You'
by Zoe Toussaint-Winchcombe
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"I feel you in your devastation, your pain, your deep loss… as if split and cracked wide
open and every part of you is scrambling to hold onto the fragments to keep it together.
I feel you in your desperation to search for what has been lost only to find a void, an empty space.
I feel you as you scramble for breath and clutch your heart. Hold tight on to the parts of someone that has dissolved …
I feel you as you grab hold of your loved one's garment they once wore and inhale deeply to catch that tangible
connection of their essence once more. I see you gaze endlessly at their photos with numb eyes.
I hear your wails and cries, the wordless moans and noise that endlessly seeps out of you.
I feel the wrench, the wild thoughts of regret and the deep sense of wrongness that
something so deeply precious has been taken away...
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I see the images that flash through your mind, the ones you so desperately want to hold onto
and others impressed upon you that haunt your every moment, the thoughts and visions you wish
would stop punishing you. I feel your anger and need to blame!
I see you drop to the floor with the weakness of loss as if somebody has pulled the plug on your life force.
The desperate pleading to a god to somehow make this nightmare NOT so!
I see you punishing yourself for thinking you could’ve been better, done better, or saved better!
I feel you drowning in a sea of tears that are never ending.
I feel the heavy weight of the burden like a mountain sitting on your chest that
feels like it will never leave. I witness you sink in the ocean of grief.
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And here… I witness your stillness. As if you too have taken your last OUT breath.
I watch, witness and hold you as stillness, time and depth pass in the gestation of
darkness. And then... so very slowly you uncoil...
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I watch you slowly call the breath of life back into your body… As if some mysterious divinity has
whispered you awake. I see you slowly take off from the bottom of the ocean towards the surface …
And there, eventually and tenderly, you see a glimmer of light.
I watch you inhale slowly as you break through the hymen of the surface of the water.
I see you witness in yourself that you are not the same as you were before…
You are different, changed.
Reborn anew through death.
The depth of grief has taken you into the deepest, richest parts of yourself to
explore the caverns where you find the pearls of wisdom, vulnerability, deep grace and SOUL.
This is a courageous place that can feel forced by the hand of loss. But it shimmers…
calling you into deep knowing and interconnectedness and showing you
a LOVE that can never be broken or spoken.
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It’s in the silent caverns of the heart. Here we are healed and carry the transmuted
wounds in our medicine pouch… Here is the place we hold the torch for self and others.
We are forever different; we are alchemised through death and rebirth…
Here we are, the pure knowing and embodiment of LOVE.
I see you… I love you…. I AM you.
And so it is."
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Grief Support Videos
There are so many emotions we can feel when we are grieving, from fear to joy to pain and sadness to not being able to feel anything at all. These are all normal; grief is normal, and our bodies have an innate wisdom to know how to grieve. We have sadly all but lost the ability to trust this wonderful wisdom, feeling we are somehow
wrong in our grief, that we are too sad, too fearful, too numb, or too happy.
It's vital to understand that grief is not something to be 'got over'; there is no 'end date'. It's part of who you are; it becomes part of your life story. Grief is as natural to us as breathing, and when we give ourselves permission to not worry about what others expect of us and grieve in whatever way helps us then we are connecting with our wisdom. Grief is not an illness; it is a natural response to the loss of someone or something momentous to our lives.
When we learn to embrace it, to become curious about it, what we can learn from it and how we can grow through it and from it, that is when we are grieving healthily. Grief is an active process, something to actively engage with, and in doing so we begin to make friends with it and understand it's there for a purpose, to help us adjust to a new way of living and being. It's an opportunity to discover a new you.
In these videos, co-author of Surviving the Tsunami of Grief, Katrina Taee, helps to reassure
you about what to expect and how to cope amidst the Tsunami of Grief.
All of the families I have supported as a holistic funeral director & end-of-life doula get a lifetime
free access to these videos - please contact me for more information.
Other Sources of Support
Grief can feel incredibly lonely, but you do not have to carry it on your own. Alongside the support we offer, there are many wonderful organisations, charities, helplines and communities that provide understanding, practical guidance and a safe space to talk.
Whether you are grieving the death of a loved one, a companion animal or are supporting someone through loss, you may find comfort and reassurance in the select few resources below. Sometimes, simply knowing that others have walked a similar path can make all the difference.
A globally recognised author, educator, and grief counsellor who serves as the founder and director of the Center for Loss and Life Transition.
He is widely known for pioneering the "Companioning Model" of grief care, which advocates for walking alongside a grieving person with compassionate curiosity rather than attempting to treat their grief as a medical condition or psychological illness to be "cured".
Core Philosophies
Grief vs. Mourning: Dr Wolfelt teaches that grief is the internal, silent constellation of thoughts and feelings experienced after a loss, whereas mourning is the active, outward expression of that grief. He argues that true healing requires moving grief outward through mourning.
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The Six Needs of Mourning: His framework emphasises six essential tasks for the bereaved, including acknowledging the reality of the loss, embracing the pain, remembering the person who died, and developing a new self-identity.
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"Griefbursts": He coined this term to describe sudden, intense waves of emotion that surprise mourners years after a loss, validating them as completely natural responses triggered by random sensory inputs
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Anti-Linear Timeline: He actively rejects rigid, stage-based grief models (like the classic Kübler-Ross model), asserting that grief is a continuous, non-linear, lifelong integration process.
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Bestselling Works
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Dr Wolfelt has written more than fifty books tailored to different types of loss, several of which are highly regarded by professional therapists:
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Understanding Your Grief: Explores ten essential touchstones for finding hope and navigating the wilderness of loss.
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Grief One Day at a Time: A popular daily devotional-style book featuring 365 daily reflections and meditations.
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Understanding Your Suicide Grief: A specialised, compassionate guide navigating the uniquely complex nature of traumatic loss.
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