'I See You'

'A Journey With Grief'

by Zoe Toussaint-Winchcombe 

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This is a beautiful poem I wish to share with you that was written by my dear friend and mentor, Zoe.  This gentle, yet powerful piece of writing

encapsulates perfectly how I see all those I support as an Intuitive

End of Life Practitioner and Funeral Director

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"I feel you in your devastation, your pain, your deep loss…… as if split and cracked wide open and every part of

you is scrambling to hold onto the fragments to keep it together .

I feel you in your desperateness to search for what has been lost only to find avoid an empty space.

I feel you as you scramble for breath and clutch your heart, Hold tight on to the parts of someone that has dissolved …

 I feel you as you grab hold of the your loved ones garment they once wore and inhale deeply to catch that tangible

connection of their essence once more. I see you gaze endlessly at their photos with numb eyes. 

I hear your wails and cry’s the wordless moans and noise that endlessly seeps out of you.
I feel the wrench, the wild thoughts of regret and the deep sense of wrongness that something

so deeply precious has been taken away...

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I see the images that flash through your mind, the ones you so desperately want to hold onto and others impressed upon you that haunt your every moment the thoughts and visions you wish would stop punishing you. 
I feel your anger and need to blame! 

I see you drop to the floor with the weakness of loss as if somebody has pulled the plug on your life force

and the desperate pleading to a god to somehow make this nightmare NOT so!
I see you punishing yourself for thinking you could’ve been better, done better, saved better! 

I feel you drown in a sea of tears that are never ending.
I feel your heavy weight of the burden like a mountain sitting on your chest that feels like it will never leave.

I witness you sink in the ocean of grief…

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And here… I witness your stillness… As if you too have taken your last OUT breath.

I watch, witness and hold you as stillness, time and depth pass in the gestation of the darkness.

And then... so very slowly you uncoil …

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I watch you slowly call the breath of life back into your body… As if some mysterious divinity has whispered you awake.
I see you slowly take off from the bottom of the ocean towards the surface …

and there eventually and tenderly you see a glimmer of light.

I watch you inhale slowly as you break through the hymen of the surface of the water.
I see you witness in yourself that you are not the same as you were before…

You are different, changed.

Reborn anew through death.

The depth of grief has taken you into the deepest richest parts of yourself to

explore the caverns where you find the pearls of wisdom, vulnerability, deep grace and SOUL.

This is a courageous place that can feel forced by the hand of loss. But it shimmers… calling you into deep knowing and interconnectedness and showing you a LOVE that can never be broken or spoken.

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It’s in the silent caverns of the heart. Here we are healed and carry the transmuted wounds in our medicine pouch…

Here is the place we hold the torch for self and others.
We are forever different, we are alchemised through death and rebirth…
Here we are the pure knowing and embodiment of LOVE

I see you… I love you…. I AM you.
And so it is."

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